I am from island, the island, Iceland and I am an island and an alien.
I live in solitude. I was born in solitude, I grew up in solitude surrounded by my family.
I am in solitude not on an island but in Holland, surrounded by other countries.
Isolation is my companion and exists on many levels. Alien in a crowded world.
Salmon is not a capelin. Salmon swims alone, not in a herd. I am a salmon not a capelin.
I am alone but not.
I take a walk (through my city and) through my senses.
I see
Isolation from the barrier outside the windows and the port. Or maybe invisible barriers between humans.
People are protecting themselves from the outside world, but also isolating themselves from the world.
I once saw a rich man´s house in a poor neighborhood in Bucharest in Romania. It was very well protected and alone and isolated from the world within.
I see the veins of this city, streets, canals. I see the veins of the tr
ee and the leaves. I see the veins of the land and the mountains. They flow though their channels like sound through their wires, small, big, huge and micro. All together in this world, and I, I see some of them.
I also see togetherness when I dine in the pancake boat. Togetherness of the people dining with loved ones. But I am still alone. I am happy and the children with family and friends are also happy and the children get orange balloons. I see the beautiful blue sky with its white clouds, and I want to dress myself in this colour.
I am resting in myself and happy. I feel whole.
Sometimes, I am in the moon or among the stars in no contact with my body or the earth. My soul swims in the sky and admires the view from above. It is magical and beautiful, but when I need to locate myself in my body again and do not find it, I get scared. Now I feel the warmth from my wool pullover to my skin. It is almost too hot. I need to get out of the pancake boat. I pay my bill and leave. I feel the wind on my skin, the chill of the autumn. I feel it gently touching my skin like it is saying “, don’t be afraid my dear I will be gentle to you this winter”.
Taste is also my touch, my touch sense because my loved ones are far away and I cannot touch them. The taste will be the touching and the wind and the rain. The taste of the pancake from the pancake boat is wonderful and it embraces me and I think of my loved ones. The beer is also wonderful, but the coffee is so bad that it is almost tasteful. My tongue is a wonderland and I can feel the touch from the different tastes and different textures. And they comfort me as the wind and the sun.
Hearing as I walk the street, my footsteps, in rhythm, alone on the street.
I walk along the canals with the boats and I hear, I hear from the cars that pass me by, all kind of music coming from the cars. Eastern, western and sometimes none. I love the silent, but it is never silent in my head. I hear constantly a ring or buzz in my ear but I hear seldom my own heartbeat. I am never alone. I am with the sound in my solitude. I hear the sound of the wind and I hear the sound of my breathing. I am smelling the rose and I sight and breath and I can hear my smelling.
Smelling is my hearing and I sense the world though the sound and the smell. Together they are, when I smell the rose, the parfum is magical. I cut myself on the torn. Bitter touch.
The senses are time machine, they all can immediately take you to places and moments in your past and let you relive moments. Smell, touch, taste, sight, hearing and the sixth sense.
All around me is love and the autumn and life. I hear the birds, the people, the splash from the water when the boats wiggle on the canals. I hear the sound of your soul and my soul and the soul of the world, it is a blue sound, blue as the soul colour. I hear the deep sigh of earth the deep red sigh of the green and blue earth as the sun kisses her waves and her mountains and valleys. Almost like my moan when I am smelling the rose. It is sensual.
Even though the sun kisses the earth, it is alone in solitude, away from its loved ones. As me having my loved ones across the see and behind the mountains.
My sixth sense is powerful, I sense the world and I sense the people. I avoid crowded places, therefore I choose solitude. I sense them with smell, hearing and touching as well with my sixth sense. My sixth sense is my/the strongest sense and I try to protect it from the bright noise smell of the world. Sometimes I feel the noise from the world hits me like a whip and I get tired and exhausted and my sixth sense or my soul cries loudly Than I have to touch the nature in some way with my senses. The nature is my relief and healing.
